Guess what Michelle Obama did today, guys? She ate a 1,700 calorie fast food meal. So, in other words, she did what literally millions of Americans do every day. The Washington Post made sure to write about it so they could point out that our first lady is a total hypocrite who has the nerve to encourage kids to exercise and eat healthy while enjoying a "whopper of a meal" in front of God and everybody.
"A Washington Post journalist on the scene confirmed the first lady, who’s made a cause out of child nutrition, ordered a ShackBurger, fries, chocolate shake and a Diet Coke "
THANK GOD YOU HAD SOMEONE ON THE SCENE. Apparently there's a law that if you point out that kids could benefit from eating vegetables and riding a bike, you lose your right to eat anything but tofu and kale in public. Seriously, if the point of this article was to make me hate Michelle Obama for not always practicing what she preaches, it had the opposite effect. I thought the only thing Michelle and I had in common was our dark skin and love for J.Crew, but now I know that she pairs her fattening meals with a diet coke [it's not about the calories, it just tastes better!] just like I do, I kind of love her.
A suggestion though, from one friend to another: next time, take a page out of your husband's book and go to Ray's Hell Burger instead. Trust me, you'll be glad you did.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Wedding Clutch
I'm writing this because I want everyone to know that I want to make this clutch sometime this summer. I figure if I write it then I have to do it, right? Anyway, I think this clutch is just darling and the instructions on The Purl Bee look quite simple, if done with patience! I'll let you know when I make one.
"If Patton were alive, he would slap your face!"
Private Benjamin is my GIRL. Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, it's so necessary. I mean, we all knew Goldie Hawn was ~flawless~, but this really proves it.
Okay, so, the backstory: I remember watching this with my mother when I was pretty young.. like, 8-10 years old. At the time, my mother was in the Army and she had blonde, curly hair. To me, Private Benjamin was totally my mom (my mom hated this comparison, by the way).
Goldie Hawn plays preppy Judy Benjamin, a woman widowed after her husband has a heart attack during sex on their wedding night. She then calls into a radio show, crying about how she's never been single before (womp womp, Goldie!) and how she can't be alone. So this man calls in and tells her about this fabulous deal called the US Army where she can join and live in a condo and hang out. Swayed by the traumatizing death of her husband, she gives up her kind of amazing 80s wardrobe to become Private Benjamin.
You can guess what happens next, but I'll tell you anyway. Boot camp is boot camp and Benjamin is confused, insisting, "I think they sent me to the wrong place... See, I did join the army, but I joined a different army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms."
This movie is amazing! There are so many classic scenes, like the one pictured above. Escaping over a fence, her commanding officer (Eileen Brennan) yells "You're not fit to wear that uniform!" to which Private Benjamin replies, "No shit."
Kramerbooks for Brunch
My boyfriend and I have made Sunday brunch a tradition when we spend the weekend together. Luckily for us, DC is a huge brunch city.
I've been to Kramerbooks a few times and they were all delicious. It's definitely a District institution since it's opening in 1976. The front of the space is a great bookstore, with some of the best selections of new and old books on display in the window. Even if I'm just walking by, I pretty much drool at the books in the window.
Behind the store is the dining area, a small, bustling place on two levels with an outdoor space.
So, brunch:
For some reason, this place makes me want corned-beef hash every time. Naturally I got two eggs to go with it and I washed it all down with a Bloody Mary, as per usual. It was so delicious! I have never been so happy to eat beef for my first meal of the day.
This is what the boyfriend got. It's a proscuitto eggs benedict with asparagus. He gave me a bite, it was yummy. However, I hinted at getting a plate of bacon on the side, but he cited the proscuitto as being enough salty pig for him. Le sigh.
Brunch is the best! I feel like the weekend isn't a weekend without brunch, don't you agree?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
DC Cab
I pity the fool that hasn't seen this movie. I got it from netflix months ago and just finally got around to watching it. I want to kick myself for waiting for so long! This is a hidden gem from the 1980s, back before DC was super-gentrified, and even before bitches were setting up mayors. It captures the strange inhabitants of DC pretty well and for some reason Bill Maher is in it? A young [and totally sexy] Adam Baldwin stars as well, as does Gary Busey. I was pleasantly surprised that this stood the test of time. It's really funny and weird and just so...eighties. It's directed by Joel Schumacher, who went on to shoot the equally awesome St. Elmo's Fire in DC two years later.
Books All Girls Should Read
So, this is a list consisting of books about girls that I think girls should read. Of course they should read all books, but it's nice to relate to strong, female characters every now and then, am I right?
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
This is the first book that came to my mind when compiling this list. The Bell Jar is the 1963 epitome of angsty teenage girl book-- a female Catcher in the Rye, if you will. Anyway, I've probably read this book about three times. If you don't know, it's a semi-autobiographical novel about Esther Greenwood, who is based on Plath. She struggles with post-collegiate life, serious depression and what seems to be an addiction to suicide attempts. The writing is beautiful, simple, and the reader genuinely roots for this unlikely protagonist. Maggie Gyllenhaal narrates the audiobook and if anyone can capture Esther Greenwood, it's she.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
I've just recently started reading this book, but I totally saw the Winona Ryder version in theaters when I was in second grade and cried my eyes out. Forever I've had this gorgeous hardcover illustrated copy that I used to peruse, but never commit to reading. Anyway, I'm reading it now and the story is written in such a way that it seems personal and kind. But really, who doesn't love Jo March? I, like, want to name my daughter Josephine kind of (idk). She's the independent and smart-- almost fearless-- girl you've always admired. Apparently a poll was done in the 1920s or so asking high school students what book was most influential to their lives and Little Women was ranked second, after the Bible. How crazy is that? But it makes sense, because it rules. Also, Jo March is based on Alcott... holla.
The Hours by Michael Cunningham
One thing that's pretty cool abou this book is that it's like reading Virginia Woolf but way easier. Cunningham tells a rather haunting story weaving the lives of three different women in different eras: Virginia bb, a real-life Mrs. Clarissa Dalloway in present time and a 1950s pregnant woman reading Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway. This book is fabulous. Obviously it would have to be, in order for ~Queen Meryl~ to be in the screen version... which is also fabulous.
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
I recommend this book to all my mixies out there. Zadie Smith's first novel is dripping in gorgeous language, telling the stories of two families from different cultures. This book spoke to me because, as a mixed black-white girl, I wanted to see how they talk about the hair issue. Smith totally does and I rarely read a book where I so completely identified with the thoughts and feelings of a main character (Irie) so much. I want to be friends with Zadie Smith in real life!
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Okay, so I haven't read this one yet, but I am going to! I have it and it's in the queue. HOWEVER, I've seen the movie, seen Bridget Jones' Diary, so I think I'm good, yeah? Every girl needs their Mr. Darcy :)
The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
This is the first book that came to my mind when compiling this list. The Bell Jar is the 1963 epitome of angsty teenage girl book-- a female Catcher in the Rye, if you will. Anyway, I've probably read this book about three times. If you don't know, it's a semi-autobiographical novel about Esther Greenwood, who is based on Plath. She struggles with post-collegiate life, serious depression and what seems to be an addiction to suicide attempts. The writing is beautiful, simple, and the reader genuinely roots for this unlikely protagonist. Maggie Gyllenhaal narrates the audiobook and if anyone can capture Esther Greenwood, it's she.
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
I've just recently started reading this book, but I totally saw the Winona Ryder version in theaters when I was in second grade and cried my eyes out. Forever I've had this gorgeous hardcover illustrated copy that I used to peruse, but never commit to reading. Anyway, I'm reading it now and the story is written in such a way that it seems personal and kind. But really, who doesn't love Jo March? I, like, want to name my daughter Josephine kind of (idk). She's the independent and smart-- almost fearless-- girl you've always admired. Apparently a poll was done in the 1920s or so asking high school students what book was most influential to their lives and Little Women was ranked second, after the Bible. How crazy is that? But it makes sense, because it rules. Also, Jo March is based on Alcott... holla.
The Hours by Michael Cunningham
One thing that's pretty cool abou this book is that it's like reading Virginia Woolf but way easier. Cunningham tells a rather haunting story weaving the lives of three different women in different eras: Virginia bb, a real-life Mrs. Clarissa Dalloway in present time and a 1950s pregnant woman reading Woolf's Mrs. Dalloway. This book is fabulous. Obviously it would have to be, in order for ~Queen Meryl~ to be in the screen version... which is also fabulous.
White Teeth by Zadie Smith
I recommend this book to all my mixies out there. Zadie Smith's first novel is dripping in gorgeous language, telling the stories of two families from different cultures. This book spoke to me because, as a mixed black-white girl, I wanted to see how they talk about the hair issue. Smith totally does and I rarely read a book where I so completely identified with the thoughts and feelings of a main character (Irie) so much. I want to be friends with Zadie Smith in real life!
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Okay, so I haven't read this one yet, but I am going to! I have it and it's in the queue. HOWEVER, I've seen the movie, seen Bridget Jones' Diary, so I think I'm good, yeah? Every girl needs their Mr. Darcy :)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Lady Gaga officially street cred-less.
“Well you know, in terms of the beat, I like ‘Bad Romance,’” Pawlenty said. “I gotta say, even though she’s a little unusual, ‘Born this Way’ has some appeal. She’s actually very talented. Now if you go to the end of the HBO special, the Lady Gaga HBO special, and you watch her sing a cappella “Born This Way,” she can sing. She can definitely sing. She’s talented.”
Lady Gaga, go ahead and retire the weird costumes and makeup now. There's no way to be 'edgy' when a total square like Tim Pawlenty is a fan of your music.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Wish List
since my birthday's right around the corner, I'm inspired to post some dream gifts:
1-A Nikon d90.
I've wanted a digital SLR camera forever and this one's my favorite. If I had this camera, I would totally be one of those pretentious people who brings their giant camera with them everywhere like they're Annie Liebovitz.
2. A food processor.
Chopping things by hand is not as fun as Meryl Streep makes it look in Julie & Julia. Not having a food processor is really limiting when it comes to cooking because you're SOL on any recipe that calls for you to puree stuff.
3-A Kitchenaid mixer.
So I can channel my inner Martha Stewart, and because they make it seem so necessary on the food network.
4. La Haine on dvd
This is another one of those things I can't justify spending money on. I LOVE this movie, but it's $30 and that is more than I'm willing to spend on a dvd.
Wow, I forgot how much fun internet window shopping can be. Talking about things you want is almost as fun as getting them.
1-A Nikon d90.
I've wanted a digital SLR camera forever and this one's my favorite. If I had this camera, I would totally be one of those pretentious people who brings their giant camera with them everywhere like they're Annie Liebovitz.2. A food processor.
Chopping things by hand is not as fun as Meryl Streep makes it look in Julie & Julia. Not having a food processor is really limiting when it comes to cooking because you're SOL on any recipe that calls for you to puree stuff.
3-A Kitchenaid mixer.
So I can channel my inner Martha Stewart, and because they make it seem so necessary on the food network.
4. La Haine on dvd
This is another one of those things I can't justify spending money on. I LOVE this movie, but it's $30 and that is more than I'm willing to spend on a dvd.Wow, I forgot how much fun internet window shopping can be. Talking about things you want is almost as fun as getting them.
Dating Dos and Donts
I was born to write a post about dating dos and don'ts: i've been on a lot of dates, and I love naming things I hate.
Dos:
Do: know your audience. There's no such thing as a perfect, catch-all first date. If a girl says her favorite movie is Band of Outsiders, it's probably not prudent to take her to see Transformers 3.
Do: Pick up the tab. I know, it's the 21st century and women are always complaining about being treated equal, right up until the check comes! What's that about? Yeah, I've seen that Andrew Dice Clay stand-up routine too. Look, when it comes down to it, don't ask a girl out if you're not planning on paying her way. It's not about feminism, it's about courtesy. And no matter what, never, ever split the check. I think this is an early relationship killer. It's the most unromantic thing you could possibly do.
Do: Be prompt about planning the next date. How hard is it to say "I had a great time with you and I'd love to see you again soon. When are you free?" There's nothing worse than going on a great first date and then not hearing from the guy for weeks on end, until you get a text saying 'hey, what are you up to tonight?' That does not fly! You have a limited window of time to ask a girl out again. If you went on a date with a girl who's attractive, or smart, or charming, there's a good chance other guys think so too, and she's probably dating them because they had the good sense to lock down a second date.
Do: Be positive. This goes for men and women. You don't need to be Kelly fucking Ripa or anything, but no one wants to spend an evening with someone who does nothing but complain. Like, no shit LA traffic is bad. And waiting for a table is never not irritating, but there's really no benefit to pointing it out.
DON'TS:
-Don't mention your ex. Because no one cares.
-Don't ask stupid questions like, "do you like movies?" [....why would I not like movies? ] or "what do you do for fun?" [everyone makes stuff up to make themselves sound more interesting. My "date" answer to this question: "I'm really into yoga? and I like trying new restaurants...and....going to see local bands in concert." My real answer: I like going to chipotle and looking at shirtless pictures of Daniel Craig.]
-Don't play a song on your guitar, or read a poem you wrote, or show your artwork. This is such an uncomfortable position to put someone in! Every time someone plays their music for me I'm freaking out inside trying to figure out what i'm supposed to do with my face. Should I close my eyes? Or should I smile? But what if the song's sad? It's so awkward. And I feel like there's always a level of narcissism involved: just because your poem was published in your school's literary magazine does not make you America's answer to Seamus fucking Heaney. Sit down.
-Don't answer your phone, and then say "don't worry, that was my grandmother." First of all, I wasn't worried, and second of all, manners, dude.
There are plenty of no-brainer dos and don'ts that I left out: Do compliment your date, don't OD on cologne, etc.
Dos:
Do: know your audience. There's no such thing as a perfect, catch-all first date. If a girl says her favorite movie is Band of Outsiders, it's probably not prudent to take her to see Transformers 3.
Do: Pick up the tab. I know, it's the 21st century and women are always complaining about being treated equal, right up until the check comes! What's that about? Yeah, I've seen that Andrew Dice Clay stand-up routine too. Look, when it comes down to it, don't ask a girl out if you're not planning on paying her way. It's not about feminism, it's about courtesy. And no matter what, never, ever split the check. I think this is an early relationship killer. It's the most unromantic thing you could possibly do.
Do: Be prompt about planning the next date. How hard is it to say "I had a great time with you and I'd love to see you again soon. When are you free?" There's nothing worse than going on a great first date and then not hearing from the guy for weeks on end, until you get a text saying 'hey, what are you up to tonight?' That does not fly! You have a limited window of time to ask a girl out again. If you went on a date with a girl who's attractive, or smart, or charming, there's a good chance other guys think so too, and she's probably dating them because they had the good sense to lock down a second date.
Do: Be positive. This goes for men and women. You don't need to be Kelly fucking Ripa or anything, but no one wants to spend an evening with someone who does nothing but complain. Like, no shit LA traffic is bad. And waiting for a table is never not irritating, but there's really no benefit to pointing it out.
DON'TS:
-Don't mention your ex. Because no one cares.
-Don't ask stupid questions like, "do you like movies?" [....why would I not like movies? ] or "what do you do for fun?" [everyone makes stuff up to make themselves sound more interesting. My "date" answer to this question: "I'm really into yoga? and I like trying new restaurants...and....going to see local bands in concert." My real answer: I like going to chipotle and looking at shirtless pictures of Daniel Craig.]
-Don't play a song on your guitar, or read a poem you wrote, or show your artwork. This is such an uncomfortable position to put someone in! Every time someone plays their music for me I'm freaking out inside trying to figure out what i'm supposed to do with my face. Should I close my eyes? Or should I smile? But what if the song's sad? It's so awkward. And I feel like there's always a level of narcissism involved: just because your poem was published in your school's literary magazine does not make you America's answer to Seamus fucking Heaney. Sit down.
-Don't answer your phone, and then say "don't worry, that was my grandmother." First of all, I wasn't worried, and second of all, manners, dude.
There are plenty of no-brainer dos and don'ts that I left out: Do compliment your date, don't OD on cologne, etc.
An idea for the next Fourth of July...
I decided to be a show-off this weekend and make some Jell-O shots for a Fourth of July BBQ or something. The funny thing is, I have never made Jell-O shots before so I really have no idea what brought it on. Without an event confirmed but plenty of hope, I began my Saturday afternoon by preparing to make a cross between these two recipes.
Not gonna lie, it was a tedious procedure. You basically make three different colors and kinds of Jell-O/gelatin/vodka/x-factor mixtures and keep them warm while adding a teaspoon layer at a time to a halved lemon rind-mold. Then, you refrigerate after each layer for ~10 minutes. Plain gelatin smells horrible, btw!
Overall, they were a huge success. Everyone loved them, they didn't taste like cough medicine. I'll probably make these again next year and make each layer thinner so more colors can make it into the rind.
It was definitely a fun project that I think everyone should try! The smell of the cherry Jell-O made my mouth water with old memories. Seriously, when was the last time you had homemade cherry Jell-O?Enjoy, creepily, like I illustrate below:
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happy 4th from Alicia and Layla!
"I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man."-George Washington
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Ultimate Break-Up Songs
I had an epiphany recently. There are only three ways to feel after a break-up: sad and wistful, angry and vengeful, or really fucking happy. There are a few songs that fit in each of those categories and make perfect music to listen to while you wallow in bed with a bowl of ice cream/key your ex's car/go out on a bunch of rebound dates.
When it comes to sad and poignant songs about relationships, Bob Dylan is king. Nearly all of Blood on the Tracks fits in this category, really, but especially Tangled Up in Blue.
Sample lyrics:
"we always did feel the same/we just saw it from a different point of view"
the sentiment everyone feels after a relationship ends but you can't really put your finger on exactly what went wrong.
And then of course, there's Don't Think Twice It's Alright. This is the definition of a sad and wistful breakup song.
Sample lyrics:
"Still I wish there was somethin’ you would do or say/To try and make me change my mind and stay/We never did too much talkin’ anyway/So don’t think twice, it’s all right"
Thank you, Bob Dylan, for summing up exactly the way I feel ten thousand times more poetically than I ever could have.
When you feel scorned and vengeful, though, there's no better person to turn to than good ol' Alanis Morissette. Nothing says "I plan on hating you forever" like You Oughta Know.
Sample lyrics:
"Well i'm here to remind you/of the mess you left when you went away/it's not fair to deny me/of the cross I bear that you gave to me"
That's music to burn an effigy to, right there.
Lest we think only women get angry and mean after a breakup, Ben Folds's aptly named "Song for the Dumped" proves that hell hath no fury like a PERSON scorned.
Sample lyrics:
"So you wanted to take a break/Slow it down some and/have some space/Well fuck you too" yeah, that's about right.
But let's face it: not every breakup leaves you feeling remorseful or full of blind rage. Sometimes a breakup leaves you feeling pretty fucking fantastic. That person that was holding you back is out of your life now! You're free to do the crossword puzzle without your SO hovering over you, blurting out the answers that you were going to get to if he just gave you a second. You can finally try the restaurant that your girlfriend called you a 'food snob' for suggesting. It feels really good knowing you dodged a bullet and don't have to deal with your clingy/stingy/insensitive boyfriend or girlfriend anymore.
Erykah Badu's got your back post-breakup: Call Tyrone is all about finally kicking that no-good lover to the curb. "I just want it to be you and me like It used to be, Baby/But ya don't know how to act, so matter of fact/I think ya better call Tyrone and tell him come on, help you get your shit"
I love this song. I love the take-no-prisoners attitude. I love that it's about realizing your lover can't make you happy and that you deserve better.
And finally, if you feel ready to get back on the horse after a breakup, On to the Next One by Jay-Z is your anthem. Brevity is the soul of wit, and those five words are all you need for perspective after a breakup, right? I don't think you can listen to this song and not feel ready to take on the world.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Twix Brownies
Neither Alicia nor I am really crazy about sweets [we'd both prefer a cheesesteak to a cheesecake] but God damn, these brownies look heavenly. I actually stared at this picture for a good 5 minutes when I first came across it. I mean, look at that.
Talk about love at first sight: Twix brownies from Bake it in a Cake. Most of the "recipes" on that site look pretty revolting (cupcakes with Pop Tarts inside are so not necessary) but i'll be damned if they don't have a winner with these. They look extremely simple to make and way too dangerous for me to have in my kitchen. I have yet to try these because I can feel a sugar coma coming on just looking at the picture for too long. Now please excuse me while I attempt to eat the screen.
Talk about love at first sight: Twix brownies from Bake it in a Cake. Most of the "recipes" on that site look pretty revolting (cupcakes with Pop Tarts inside are so not necessary) but i'll be damned if they don't have a winner with these. They look extremely simple to make and way too dangerous for me to have in my kitchen. I have yet to try these because I can feel a sugar coma coming on just looking at the picture for too long. Now please excuse me while I attempt to eat the screen.
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