So I'm watching The Sopranos

I am blown away by how fantastically this show has aged. Yes, I laugh when I hear Jamie Lynn-Sigler singing "Oops, I Did It Again" and I smirked when Tony defended sending AJ to military school because "the US hardly goes to war these days."But really, I've watched four of the six seasons so far and I occasionally find myself thinking how thoughtfully written the characters are. Like, Tony Soprano gives me all sorts of feels. He is, by definition, a total psychopath. But why, as a critical viewer, am I completely drawn to him? I love Tony Soprano. I love James Gandolfini for playing Tony Soprano.

Tony is the father of two good kids and the husband to the flawless Carmela (Edie Falco). He's also the godfather of the New Jersey mafia. He has panic attacks because his mother is just insane and a total nut as well. Also because he is the godfather of the New Jersey mafia.

Tony is a relatively stand up guy. Of course, you're comparing him with scummy people in the mafia business, so his good morals usually come into play when like, someone kills their mistress. What I've noticed from the show is that it likes to punish you for liking Tony so much. You begin making excuses for him. "Oh, yeah he constantly cheats on Carmela, but at least doesn't have affairs with multiple women at the same time." "Yeah, he kicked the shit out of the poor bartender at his strip club again, but it's funny." I mean, when you think about it, it's unsettling.

I love the range of problems written into story arcs. I suppose in that business and lifestyle, there are a lot of things that can go wrong. Things like the FBI bugging your basement or the neighborhood priest being a mooch and eating your whole tray of ziti. (By the way, I made baked ziti after hearing about it all the time and I now understand how there's always a tray of ziti in their fridge. There was so much I must have eaten it for five lunches and I still had leftovers. Ziti making hopefuls, beware of recipe sizes.)

On my journey to watch all four New Golden Age of Television shows (The Sopranos, The Wire, Mad Men, Breaking Bad [subject to vary I suppose]), I think The Sopranos is my favorite. It's the first show to inspire better television writing and I absolutely understand it while watching. I'm not kidding, this show is fantastic. It's like Breaking Bad where you're supposed to hate the main character, but the difference is you actually hate yourself for liking and rooting for Tony Soprano and a lot of the people associated with him. Also similar to Breaking Bad, the wives are the best. Carmela Soprano is my hero.

Really worth watching all six seasons. Try it!

Mad Men: In Defense of Betty Francis

What's with all the Betty hate? Honestly, I really don't understand it. Ever since I started watching the show, people have had some issue with the former Mrs. Don Draper. I'm pretty sure I haven't missed anything worth hating her for-- I'm obsessed with the show. In fact, I really like Betty. I actively hate Don.

As I was reading one of the millions of recaps I read today after last night's episode, I came across this passage in Vulture's recap:

No matter how much sympathy Mad Menaffects, there's still a disquieting sense that Betty is somehow getting what's coming to her — that when you treat your kids badly, you end up a bloated suburban waste case with throat polyps, scarfing Bugles on a couch in a house that Miss Havisham might find oppressive. If you juxtaposed Don's sins against Betty's, they'd probably come out about even, with the two about evenly matched in the narcissism department, with Betty's casual cruelty toward her children counterbalanced by Don's secret other wife and serial infidelities. 

Really? Let's think about Don's transgressions. Aside from serial cheating during his marriage to Betty (including with another man's wife), he's stolen a dead man's identity and continues to live his life. War sucks, I get it, so I won't even act like I wouldn't steal a fallen comrade's identity to get out of there either. He sexually assaulted a woman he was having an affair with in a restaurant in season two. He ditched his child's birthday party midway through for no reason I can remember and didn't come back until late at night, after the party had ended. He had an affair with his daughter Sally's teacher. He emotionally abused Betty (most exemplified when he flipped out on her for wearing a bikini she saw at a charity fashion show in the kitchen). I could go on all night.

I asked some fellow (male) viewers I know why they hate Betty so much. The answer was pretty much the same: she's mean to Sally sometimes, cold and emotionally stunted. Yes, Betty is mean to Sally sometimes. But wouldn't you be too, as the sole disciplinarian of your family who has to spend all of your time with your kids by yourself? Sometimes for days on end? I know I would. Especially considering her parents were probably stricter and harsher than she is. I remember one time, when the Drapers were sitting down at dinner, Bobby was acting up and ignoring Betty's requests to stop. She pleaded for Don to do something and Don threw a hissy fit and broke Bobby's toy out of anger. Is that really better?

There is no way any woman with a "traditional" WASP upbringing in the 1940s is going to turn out emotionally stable. I've also gotten the feeling that she was abused somehow by her father, but that was never really said. Her mom definitely emotionally abused her and instilled in her the way a "lady" should act. It probably isn't ladylike in her opinion to express your unhappiness, your anger or frustration. Either way, she's just as cold and emotionally stunted as Don is, I don't care what anyone says about that one.

I guess it's also not fair that everyone loves Jon Hamm and no one really knows anything about January Jones, other than that she's a limited actress. But it's also not fair to act like Betty is an asshole and Don is this tortured creative genius instead of the lying piece of shit that he is. Maybe it's because she's a woman and he's a man. But let's agree that "I don't know, she's cold" is an acceptable response to this irrational hatred of a character that many women and mothers can relate to and understand.

Team Betty Francis. Do yo thang girl.