The "Ma'am, your pants are about to bust. I swear," heard round the world.

I had a humbling moment the other night while out with friends where I realized I need to start getting into bikini shape after being on an indulgent bender for the past year. Lest I have to entertain the worried warnings from somehow well-meaning strangers in the future, I've put together a menu of healthier options for the week. Mainly I'm aiming to eat hardly any full-fat dairy or white carbs and more vegetables. Hopefully this attempt at a diet and working out at least once a day (pilates or running) will yield some results.

These are some recipes I found on my favorite site, Tastespotting (I have a ton of them). Since today was particularly hot in DC, most of these are salads, as that's what I have a taste for:

Mad Men: In Defense of Betty Francis

What's with all the Betty hate? Honestly, I really don't understand it. Ever since I started watching the show, people have had some issue with the former Mrs. Don Draper. I'm pretty sure I haven't missed anything worth hating her for-- I'm obsessed with the show. In fact, I really like Betty. I actively hate Don.

As I was reading one of the millions of recaps I read today after last night's episode, I came across this passage in Vulture's recap:

No matter how much sympathy Mad Menaffects, there's still a disquieting sense that Betty is somehow getting what's coming to her — that when you treat your kids badly, you end up a bloated suburban waste case with throat polyps, scarfing Bugles on a couch in a house that Miss Havisham might find oppressive. If you juxtaposed Don's sins against Betty's, they'd probably come out about even, with the two about evenly matched in the narcissism department, with Betty's casual cruelty toward her children counterbalanced by Don's secret other wife and serial infidelities. 

Really? Let's think about Don's transgressions. Aside from serial cheating during his marriage to Betty (including with another man's wife), he's stolen a dead man's identity and continues to live his life. War sucks, I get it, so I won't even act like I wouldn't steal a fallen comrade's identity to get out of there either. He sexually assaulted a woman he was having an affair with in a restaurant in season two. He ditched his child's birthday party midway through for no reason I can remember and didn't come back until late at night, after the party had ended. He had an affair with his daughter Sally's teacher. He emotionally abused Betty (most exemplified when he flipped out on her for wearing a bikini she saw at a charity fashion show in the kitchen). I could go on all night.

I asked some fellow (male) viewers I know why they hate Betty so much. The answer was pretty much the same: she's mean to Sally sometimes, cold and emotionally stunted. Yes, Betty is mean to Sally sometimes. But wouldn't you be too, as the sole disciplinarian of your family who has to spend all of your time with your kids by yourself? Sometimes for days on end? I know I would. Especially considering her parents were probably stricter and harsher than she is. I remember one time, when the Drapers were sitting down at dinner, Bobby was acting up and ignoring Betty's requests to stop. She pleaded for Don to do something and Don threw a hissy fit and broke Bobby's toy out of anger. Is that really better?

There is no way any woman with a "traditional" WASP upbringing in the 1940s is going to turn out emotionally stable. I've also gotten the feeling that she was abused somehow by her father, but that was never really said. Her mom definitely emotionally abused her and instilled in her the way a "lady" should act. It probably isn't ladylike in her opinion to express your unhappiness, your anger or frustration. Either way, she's just as cold and emotionally stunted as Don is, I don't care what anyone says about that one.

I guess it's also not fair that everyone loves Jon Hamm and no one really knows anything about January Jones, other than that she's a limited actress. But it's also not fair to act like Betty is an asshole and Don is this tortured creative genius instead of the lying piece of shit that he is. Maybe it's because she's a woman and he's a man. But let's agree that "I don't know, she's cold" is an acceptable response to this irrational hatred of a character that many women and mothers can relate to and understand.

Team Betty Francis. Do yo thang girl.

DIY Day Off! Homemade Ricotta and Slow-Roasted Tomatoes

Today I took off of work and decided to carpe the diem and make some homemade basics for the kitchen. Both were incredibly easy! Here are the recipes:

Slow-Roasted Tomatoes

Slow-Roasted Tomatoes


Roughly 1 lb. cherry tomatoes, sliced lengthwise
Olive oil
Salt
Oregano and other dried herbs
One clove of garlic

1. Preheat you oven to its lowest setting. Some ovens only go as low as 200 degrees F, but mine goes to 170.

2. Place the halved tomatoes face up on a baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt.

3. Bake in the oven for about three to four hours. I baked mine for about three and a half.

4. When you remove them from the oven, taste one! They're delish.

5. Place into a jar.

6. Pour some olive oil into a bowl and add your herbs (however much you like, honestly) and a grated clove of garlic to it.

7. Pour the mixture over your tomatoes and close the jar. You're done!

Ricotta Cheese

Ricotta Cheese 

recipe adapted from Evan's Kitchen Ramblings

3 cups milk

1 cup (250 ml) whipping cream

1/2 tsp kosher salt

Juice of one lemon

1. Combine milk, cream and salt into a heavy-bottomed pot and bring to a boil, stirring constantly.

2. Line a colander with cheesecloth or a coffee filter or paper towels and place over a large bowl.

3. Once the milk combo comes to a boil, add the lemon juice and turn the heat to low. Simmer for two more minutes.

4. Off heat and let stand for five minutes.

5. Pour into lined colander and allow the whey to strain out for an hour.

6. Refrigerate! Though apparently it freezes well.

Nom away.

Dreaming about this salad.

Last night I set out to make this salad for lunch today. It was so good, I had to have some then and there! It was really hard to not eat the whole thing. A few things I had to change. I didn't want to use a second lemon, so I just used the juice of one and got away with it. I didn't have pesto, so I grated a half a clove of garlic in it. If you're not a big fan of garlic or onion breath, I recommend using one or the other. Because IDGAF, I used both.

Tangy Tuna and White Bean Salad

3 tablespoons lemon juice (I used a little less-- about one lemon's worth.)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 15-ounce can cannellini (white) beans, drained and rinsed
1 7-ounce can of tuna, drained
1/4 cup onion, finely chopped
3 tablespoons parsley, chopped
2 teaspoons pesto (I didn't have pesto, so I grated a half clove of garlic.)
1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons sundried tomato, diced

In a medium bowl, whisk together the pesto, lemon zest, lemon juice, olive oil, and salt.

Add the drained beans, tuna, onion, parsley and sundried tomatoes and toss gently to coat. Refrigerate for 30 minutes to 2 hours to blend the flavors. Serve.

Enjoy like I did!

Can we stop pretending?

I moved recently, so this isn't as timely as I wanted it to be.

If you're a socially aware person, you know that Chris Brown performed at the Grammy Awards. If you're a celebrity gossip lover, like myself, you know that three years ago Brown had to cancel his performance as well as his then-girlfriend's, Queen Rihanna, because he beat the shit out of her in the car on the way over. So he performed, twice, and people cheered and gave him standing ovations and everyone was so happy to finally have a golden talent in their midst again. And I am furious. Thank you, Chris Brown, for inspiring me to make this list of verbally and physically violent people who I am sick of seeing people fawn over. I don't know about you, but I hold a grudge and never forget that someone did shit. You shouldn't either. (Check out this stunning piece on HelloGiggles for more insight into why.)

So here is my list of horrible men praised in Hollywood. Enjoy.

Valentine's Day Dinner

I decided to cook a nice meal for my boyfriend this Valentine's Day and settled on a Giada recipe for Brown Butter Risotto with Lobster. Here are some more recipes I was dying to make!

Devils on Horseback: Bacon-wrapped dates filled with goat cheese

Steak With Pesto Gnocchi

Maple Juniper Venison Loin with Chocolate Infused Red Wine Jus, Leek and Potato Mash

Baked Scallops with Cheese and Wine Sauce

Actors I could do without

This is inspired by a commercial for George Clooney on Inside the Actor's Studio. For a while now, some of Hollywood's most beloved actors have been falling off in many ways. Some are picking terrible movies. Some have personalities that just aren't cute anymore. Some, to me, have always been mediocre,  annoying, or overrated. Let's just dive right in here:

George Clooney

"Hi, I'm George Clooney and I actually think I should be here. With the President of the United States. In a serious group conversation. He totally gives a fuck what I think."

First, I would like to thank Clooney for inspiring this post. I must admit, it took me a little longer than usual to choose a picture of him to use because he is actually quite beautiful. Too bad when I get past his gorgeousness (which, god damn it, gets better with age like a Roth IRA) all I can see is a smug bastard. Michael Clayton is a phenomenal movie, but now he's pretty much just playing George Clooney. Aloof, clever, charming. That's his schtick. Whether he's down-and-out or totally successful, it's the same character. I pretty much tolerated him until I saw the video below. It reminded me of the scene in Fantastic Mr. Fox-- another great film of his-- where he hijacks a toast being given by Bill Murray's Clive Beaver.




Like, Viola Davis is making a great point about why black women her age don't get many roles. Fassy seems genuinely interested, but oh no, Clooney hasn't spoken in ten seconds so he's itching. Hey Clooney, no one gives a fuck about your experience on E.R. when we're talking about black actresses and the way they're cast (or, in this case, not cast) in films. People have pretty much forgotten you were on E.R. since you don't have that stupid fucking Caesar haircut anymore. Moving on.

Tom Hanks

"Casting me in Extremely Loud and Incredibly Pretentious was actually a good fit for me, thanks!"

Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. This makes me sad. When did it all go so 'meh?' Maybe it was The Ladykillers. Anyway, I find him ostentatious and the movies he's been in lately just seem like fillers. The Da Vinci Code, Larry Crowne; I didn't even bother to see Angels and Demons because I mean, really. You know it's bad when I prefer Colin Hanks to Tom. Maybe Colin could do a remake of Turner and Hootch or Big. Those are remakes I could get behind.

Julia Roberts

"It's really important for me to open my mouth this wide, otherwise people won't know I'm laughing."

Speaking of Larry Crowne, I have to mention Julia Roberts. She hasn't been in much lately, it seems, which is kind of great for me. There's just something about her that I can't stomach. Maybe it's because she's a Scorpio and they're the worst. Even if her character in a movie is supposed to be likable and empowering or something, like in Mona Lisa Smile, I just end up hating them. It's irrational, I know. But then again, maybe it's just Julia Roberts.

Leonardo DiCaprio

"Got a biopic for me?"

He was amazing in What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Actually, he's pretty amazing in everything, acting-wise. I think it's just that he's in everything. When I found out he was going to play Jay Gatsby, I was a little upset. Next he's going to be in the new Tarantino movie, Django Unchained (which, by the way, Idris Elba should be starring in instead of Jaime Foxx, but whatever) and he's going to play one of my favorite singers ever, Frank Sinatra! I'm like, get out of my face, DiCaprio!! We won't mention his serial model dating, which really can't be caused by any good feelings about women. I'm pretty sure that'll end up backfiring on him.

Anyway, let me stop hating. I can't hate on the big bills they get while simultaneously giving up, so more power to them.